”“And I’ll stay as long as you keep sharing that fine whiskey. And perhaps you’ll share your story too.”“I’m here to kill myself.”“And why would you want to do that?” he replied, holding out his hand for the whiskey bottle.And so I found myself spilling my guts to a complete stranger, how the doctors had said there was nothing they could do for my little problem, how I’d been repeatedly humiliated, how I’d sworn never to let it happen again until I had gone out with Claire. As I rambled on and on, we finished the bottle and I opened another one. Then we finished the second and I opened a third. Funny, I didn’t seem to be getting any more drunk despite the quantity of whiskey I was consuming.“What would you wish for, that would improve your life?” he asked when I finished taking and opened the fourth bottle.“Easy. A normal-sized penis.”“I don’t think that’s possible,” said the green man, taking the bottle from me and gulping down another mouthful.He handed back the bottle and I took a. This trigger was the opposite of that perfection in every possible way.Sights were installed on the side, so you held it “gangsta style” and the rear and front sights were so close together to make them practically useless. Since the maximum effective range of the subsonic ammunition might possibly reach all the way out to ten meters, sights probably weren’t required. We hoped they’d recognize them for what they were and use them, as that orientation would make the knife attached to the bottom a hazard preventing a dickhead from using a second hand to support their grip. If you didn’t use the sights you could orient the pistol any way you wanted.Reloading this was an exercise in total frustration and exotic risks. Accessing the rear of the chamber required very fine motor skills to depress a tiny latch that would let the nearly too-small door slide away to allow reloading. Removing spent cases involved tapping the weapon on a hard surface to dislodge the casings, as there was nothing.
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